Social Media Hiatus Day Twenty-Seven
Aug. 27th, 2025 08:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
josilverdragonDid something to my right knee. Probably when I wore those stupid new shoes I tried. My knee was fine before then and now it's fucked up. I ordered a knee brace so I'll have support while it heals, but for now, none of my power walking moves. Plus, I was second-guessing my decision about doing swimming but ultimately, this only confirms that swimming will need to be how I get excercise as a result of my weight. Additionally, I'll be working on how much I eat, again. I need to drop some weight. I need to focus on that and it sucks. I love food. And most of that is processed and bad for you. Even some of those salad kits. It fucking sucks. Or maybe I might become vegetarian, or gluten-free, and see if that helps. I just don't like to cook lol or to meal prep. Sigh.
I wish I wasn't this way. I wish that I had grown up with a healthier relationship to food. But it became a source of comfort and that's going to be hard to change. Especially at 45. I always think about maybe getting a therapist or counselor or something but then I flashback to when I reached out last time (20 years or so ago) and how the one counselor sent me to an off-campus psychologist and they charged me $300 in 2006/2007 to ask little questions and have ME tell him what I have and then getting an anti-depressant with an anti-psychotic which then led to me self-harming just to feel SOMETHING. So, not a good time and I am left with myself, as always.
I didn't go to bed until 1 AM this morning, which is usual for me. I was getting tired of being tired with 7-8 hours of sleep so I said fuck it lol. I'm still working on my calibre fanfic library rebuild. I have a long way to go and yet still almost have 8k. You don't want to know the number when was trying to fix it as opposed to rebuilding.
Apparently my new dresser is arriving today! A day earlier than I thought, so I am happy about that.
Hopefully the rest of the day gets better but we'll see.
I wish I wasn't this way. I wish that I had grown up with a healthier relationship to food. But it became a source of comfort and that's going to be hard to change. Especially at 45. I always think about maybe getting a therapist or counselor or something but then I flashback to when I reached out last time (20 years or so ago) and how the one counselor sent me to an off-campus psychologist and they charged me $300 in 2006/2007 to ask little questions and have ME tell him what I have and then getting an anti-depressant with an anti-psychotic which then led to me self-harming just to feel SOMETHING. So, not a good time and I am left with myself, as always.
I didn't go to bed until 1 AM this morning, which is usual for me. I was getting tired of being tired with 7-8 hours of sleep so I said fuck it lol. I'm still working on my calibre fanfic library rebuild. I have a long way to go and yet still almost have 8k. You don't want to know the number when was trying to fix it as opposed to rebuilding.
Apparently my new dresser is arriving today! A day earlier than I thought, so I am happy about that.
Hopefully the rest of the day gets better but we'll see.
