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Dreams (featuring an old school crush)
Jul. 4th, 2023 08:32 am The last few months has me remembering dreams that have 9 times out of 10 featured in some way my old major high school crush. He's shown up in quite a few over the course of the last couple of years and I thought I was over him (again). THEN tiktok's algorithm brought up a few of those non-tagged videos where someone reads tarot for you and saying that someone is preparing to enter into my life and my brain goes to him. I doubt I'll ever see him again in this life but I don't know why he's persisted. Or at least the idea of him has persisted. Maybe it was the brief reconnection in the mid-2010s, pre-friend break up of hell that fucked me up, but I know that I was probably not what he wanted despite him spilling the details of what he was looking for during the lunch we had.
Anyway, he's been on my mind as a result and those damn tiktoks lol.
I guess the main reason why he sticks with me is because he is an idea. The closest I possibly got to getting a partner, which doesn't mean anything because I haven't actually ever dated anyone. Plus there is absolutely no one in my life right now that am interested in and haven't for many many years. In addition to my personal understanding of my own identity that has changed since then. I'd love to see him again. Even just to hang out. We were friends in high school, post my confession to him (he was waiting for college lol). Went to a couple movies, he helped me and my family move.
Lots of memories.
I'm not even sure I want to be with anyone anymore but I would still consider him. Even if we were just platonic partners lol
I need to get over him. I'm not even sure I'm still on him, other than he persists in my goddamn dreams LOL
Anyway, he's been on my mind as a result and those damn tiktoks lol.
I guess the main reason why he sticks with me is because he is an idea. The closest I possibly got to getting a partner, which doesn't mean anything because I haven't actually ever dated anyone. Plus there is absolutely no one in my life right now that am interested in and haven't for many many years. In addition to my personal understanding of my own identity that has changed since then. I'd love to see him again. Even just to hang out. We were friends in high school, post my confession to him (he was waiting for college lol). Went to a couple movies, he helped me and my family move.
Lots of memories.
I'm not even sure I want to be with anyone anymore but I would still consider him. Even if we were just platonic partners lol
I need to get over him. I'm not even sure I'm still on him, other than he persists in my goddamn dreams LOL
