![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The perfect start to a perfect war
Feb. 3rd, 2026 10:00 pmTrying to fix my daily schedule but again, self-sabotage wins. I haven't (obviously) kept up with the monthly posts (reading and to do list) and I feel disconnected now. Perhaps that's been my problem. I don't know.
I want to get into this new routine but I rebel against the idea of making myself follow a routine: because free will and all that jazz. But it's something that might actually make things better, but I hate having to end my free time so I can sleep and start the daily grind all over again. There's a term for it but basically I procrastinate sleep to push off the inevitable dawning of another day. So yeah, one more day of trying again. And another day of giving myself grace and trying to not turn this into a spiral of self-hate and spiraling. I'm very good at that.
I was very proud of myself for not giving in and buying more Sleep Token merch. I have so much that I don't wear or use for a variety of reasons, so it's like "why?" The only thing I really wanted was a tour poster, which I already have, and those dang bumper stickers that sold out so fast. Ugh. I also wanted a tour shirt but the only size that could fit me sold out so fast and I am not ready to try and squeeze myself into something smaller. At least I have a poster! And a couple of other things from the tour merch. Other other Even in Arcadia merch. "Wear me out like Prada" indeed.
And like the ADHD person I think I might be, I meant to finish this but remembered I wanted to reply to someone, then went about some nightly doings and just now remembered I didn't finish this. One hour later, at 11pm. Post was started at 10pm. Ah, life.
Well, going to lay down and read for a little bit. Catch you all soon.
To Do (Next time when on DW):
( Lyrics )
I want to get into this new routine but I rebel against the idea of making myself follow a routine: because free will and all that jazz. But it's something that might actually make things better, but I hate having to end my free time so I can sleep and start the daily grind all over again. There's a term for it but basically I procrastinate sleep to push off the inevitable dawning of another day. So yeah, one more day of trying again. And another day of giving myself grace and trying to not turn this into a spiral of self-hate and spiraling. I'm very good at that.
I was very proud of myself for not giving in and buying more Sleep Token merch. I have so much that I don't wear or use for a variety of reasons, so it's like "why?" The only thing I really wanted was a tour poster, which I already have, and those dang bumper stickers that sold out so fast. Ugh. I also wanted a tour shirt but the only size that could fit me sold out so fast and I am not ready to try and squeeze myself into something smaller. At least I have a poster! And a couple of other things from the tour merch. Other other Even in Arcadia merch. "Wear me out like Prada" indeed.
And like the ADHD person I think I might be, I meant to finish this but remembered I wanted to reply to someone, then went about some nightly doings and just now remembered I didn't finish this. One hour later, at 11pm. Post was started at 10pm. Ah, life.
Well, going to lay down and read for a little bit. Catch you all soon.
To Do (Next time when on DW):
- Close out January posts and start February posts
( Lyrics )
