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josilverdragonBecause I am a nerd/geek, whatever, I bought "Kaze no Umi, Meikyuu no Kishi", which is the 2nd book in the Twelve Kingdoms series. Or rather, the 2nd book that was published. I also bought "Higashi no Watatsumi, Nishi no Sookai", which is the 3rd published in the series. The second book focuses on Taiki, who is the most adorable little kirin. The third one focuses on En and the early part of Shoryuu's reign.
And because I am an even bigger nerd, I am attempting to read said book, and in the process, trying to translate. So, I need help. I've attempted translating in the past, but have always given up because I felt I didn't know enough to even try. I also felt like an idiot because I could not translate as fast as others I know could. SO, I basically defeated myself. Anyhow, with that knowledge, I am trying again. Because I am a fan of the Twelve kingdoms and want to read more, even though the TokyoPop translation will be released in March 2008.
ANYHOW, on to it. At this point, I have only translated the first page. A part of me feels like I'm lame because I've only done 1 page, but the other part of me feels happy that I've at least accomplished that. So, for those fluent in Japanese and feel like taking a look-see at my elementary attempt 2 times removed, please do so and please give me pointers/help.
Thank you very much!
"Sea of the Wind, Labyrinth of the Shore"
プロローグ
雪が降っていた。
重い大きな雪片が沈むように降りしきっていた。
天を見上げれば空は白、そこに灰色の薄い影が無数に滲む。染みいる速度で視野を横切り、目線で追うといつの間にか白い。
彼は肩に軟着陸したひとひらを見る。綿毛のような結晶が見えるほど、大きく重い雪だった。 次から次へ、肩から腕へ、そうして真つ赤になった掌に留まっては、水の色に透けて解けていく。
雪の白よりも、彼の吐息のほうが寒々しかった。子供特有の細い首を廻らせると、動作のとおりに白く吐息が動きを見せて、それがいっそう目に寒い。
彼がそこに立ってもう一時間が過ぎた。
*~*~*
プロローグ
ゆきがふっていた。
おもいおおきなせっぺんがしずむようにふりしきっていた。
てんをみうえげればそらはしろ、そこにはいいろのうすいかげがむすうににじむ。 しみいるそくどでしやをよこぎり、めせんでおうといつのかんにかしろい。
かれはかたになんちゃくりくしたひとひらをみる。わたげのようなけっしょうがみえるほど、おおきくおもいゆきだった。 つきからつきへ、かたからうでへ、そうしてまつかまつかになったてのひらにとまっては、みずのいろにすけてとけていく。
ゆきのしろよりも、かれのといきのほうがさむざむしかった。こどもとくゆうのほそいくびをめぐらせると、どうさのとおりにしろくといきがうごきをみせて、それがいっそうめにさむい。
かれがそこにたってもういちじかんがすぎた。
*~*~*
Snow was falling.
The large, heavy snowflakes sink, steadily falling down.
If one were to look up at the heavens, the sky would be white; there the thin ash-colored shadow spread immeasurably. Without realizing it, the eyes follow the whiteness as the stain speeds across.
He looked as one landed softly on his shoulder. Appearing more fluff than crystal, was this large, heavy snow. One after another, it fell from his shoulder to his arm like that, stopping at the bright red of his palm, melting to the transparent color of water.
More white than the snow was the wintry reproval of his sigh. His thin neck, characteristic of a child, moved as he breathed. This movement from his white sigh showed to any pair of eyes that he was cold.
While he has been standing there, an hour has already passed.
*~*~*
I'm sorry my translation is of poor grammar, but I need a little help. If you can think of a better way to phrase what I have there, please PLEASE do suggest!
Thank you!
And because I am an even bigger nerd, I am attempting to read said book, and in the process, trying to translate. So, I need help. I've attempted translating in the past, but have always given up because I felt I didn't know enough to even try. I also felt like an idiot because I could not translate as fast as others I know could. SO, I basically defeated myself. Anyhow, with that knowledge, I am trying again. Because I am a fan of the Twelve kingdoms and want to read more, even though the TokyoPop translation will be released in March 2008.
ANYHOW, on to it. At this point, I have only translated the first page. A part of me feels like I'm lame because I've only done 1 page, but the other part of me feels happy that I've at least accomplished that. So, for those fluent in Japanese and feel like taking a look-see at my elementary attempt 2 times removed, please do so and please give me pointers/help.
Thank you very much!
"Sea of the Wind, Labyrinth of the Shore"
プロローグ
雪が降っていた。
重い大きな雪片が沈むように降りしきっていた。
天を見上げれば空は白、そこに灰色の薄い影が無数に滲む。染みいる速度で視野を横切り、目線で追うといつの間にか白い。
彼は肩に軟着陸したひとひらを見る。綿毛のような結晶が見えるほど、大きく重い雪だった。 次から次へ、肩から腕へ、そうして真つ赤になった掌に留まっては、水の色に透けて解けていく。
雪の白よりも、彼の吐息のほうが寒々しかった。子供特有の細い首を廻らせると、動作のとおりに白く吐息が動きを見せて、それがいっそう目に寒い。
彼がそこに立ってもう一時間が過ぎた。
*~*~*
プロローグ
ゆきがふっていた。
おもいおおきなせっぺんがしずむようにふりしきっていた。
てんをみうえげればそらはしろ、そこにはいいろのうすいかげがむすうににじむ。 しみいるそくどでしやをよこぎり、めせんでおうといつのかんにかしろい。
かれはかたになんちゃくりくしたひとひらをみる。わたげのようなけっしょうがみえるほど、おおきくおもいゆきだった。 つきからつきへ、かたからうでへ、そうしてまつかまつかになったてのひらにとまっては、みずのいろにすけてとけていく。
ゆきのしろよりも、かれのといきのほうがさむざむしかった。こどもとくゆうのほそいくびをめぐらせると、どうさのとおりにしろくといきがうごきをみせて、それがいっそうめにさむい。
かれがそこにたってもういちじかんがすぎた。
*~*~*
Snow was falling.
The large, heavy snowflakes sink, steadily falling down.
If one were to look up at the heavens, the sky would be white; there the thin ash-colored shadow spread immeasurably. Without realizing it, the eyes follow the whiteness as the stain speeds across.
He looked as one landed softly on his shoulder. Appearing more fluff than crystal, was this large, heavy snow. One after another, it fell from his shoulder to his arm like that, stopping at the bright red of his palm, melting to the transparent color of water.
More white than the snow was the wintry reproval of his sigh. His thin neck, characteristic of a child, moved as he breathed. This movement from his white sigh showed to any pair of eyes that he was cold.
While he has been standing there, an hour has already passed.
*~*~*
I'm sorry my translation is of poor grammar, but I need a little help. If you can think of a better way to phrase what I have there, please PLEASE do suggest!
Thank you!
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-23 09:09 am (UTC)